On death and dying

For some people, talking about death makes them feel uncomfortable and awkward - after all, it's a subject of which we have limited personal experience. Especially when we're younger, we live in a world where we can avoid facing up to death. We can feel sympathy for friends and their families when they experience death, but we largely see ourselves and our families as somehow separate - it won't happen to us.

Funeral practices in New Zealand have largely reflected the needs and beliefs of our predominantly Christian society, but as we become an increasingly multi-cultural nation other beliefs are contributing to the changing face of funerals.

Many cultures and religions see death as an inevitable stage of life, a passing from one state to another. Writer Verpal Singh says that, for Sikhs, death is a chance for a righteous life-force to once again unite with God and so it's regarded without fear.

Buddhists see death as a transition to a new mode of existence - the karmic forces that have accumulated over the course of your life determine your next rebirth. Death therefore provides an opportunity for the living to help the deceased person move on to their new life.

Death at home

Until relatively recently, it was common in New Zealand for death to occur at home. Care of the sick and dying family member was largely the responsibility of the family, and so too was the care of the deceased. The body would have been washed, dressed and laid out by family members, usually women. For some ethnic groups, taking care of a loved one at home remains extremely important.

In her book "Last Words", Margot Schwass says that over 65 percent of all deaths in New Zealand now occur in hospitals, rest homes, retirement villages, or hospices.

This has been accompanied by a growth in the number of medical experts who work with death - such as hospital staff, caregivers, grief counsellors, ambulance staff, funeral directors, and coroners. Death has come to be seen as more of a failure of medical technology than a naturally occurring event.

The practice of home viewing - taking the body home before the funeral service - has revived in recent years. This reflects a relatively recent change in attitudes: as late as the 1960s it was thought that viewing the deceased could damage the mental health of survivors - particularly young children or older relatives.