Kids & family

Funerals

Updated: 17 Aug 2009
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Introduction

It's never an easy thing to do, but organising a funeral can be far less painful if you know what to expect.

We report on changing funeral practices in New Zealand, and provide a guide to what costs to expect.

Also see our Green funerals report if you're interested in finding out more about natural burials.

What's in a funeral?

A funeral can be anything you want it to be - you may even choose not to have one at all.

Modern funerals tend to be about the life of the deceased and often include stories and tributes. This can be done in any way you choose - such as using music, movement or symbols, or a performance or recital.

Some funerals may combine more traditional religious elements with aspects of modern funerals. Contemporary Chinese funerals often mix elements of Buddhism with secular practices to meet the cross-generational requests of different family members.

The changing role of the funeral director

During the nineteenth century, the role of the funeral director was principally that of coffin supplier and transport provider. The twentieth century saw the development of new funeral practices, such as embalming, and a new focus on meeting the psychological needs of the grieving family and friends.

Modern services offered by funeral directors are likely to include providing access to grief counselling, giving advice, arranging details of the service, and placing newspaper notices. Many funeral directors also offer specialised funeral venues and catering facilities - but these valued-added services can push up prices.

Some ethnic groups may not use the services of a funeral director. For example, Muslim communities prefer to prepare a body for burial in a special section of a mosque.

 

Burial, cremation or donation

You have four options about what happens to your body. You could choose to be buried in the earth or at sea, to be cremated, or to donate your body to medical science.

The option you choose depends on your religious and personal choices.

Burial

Burial is still a popular choice - it gives family members a permanent memorial to visit.

Burial requires buying a plot and usually a headstone marker. An interment fee is also payable: this covers the cost of digging the grave, and ongoing maintenance of the plot. Some people may choose to prepare the burial plot for the deceased themselves. Preparing the burial plot can often be therapeutic for the deceased's survivors.

Some sections of cemeteries have been made available for different religious groups. This is especially important for the Muslim community, who have to meet the Islamic requirement for a body to be buried facing Mecca.

Natural burials
Instead of headstones set in a neatly manicured lawn, natural cemeteries are usually planted with trees which grow to create a park. Bodies are buried as close as possible to the active soil layer to aid nature’s recycling. Bodies are not embalmed, and are buried in either a shroud or an untreated wooden coffin. For more information see our Green funerals report.

Cremation

After cremation, the ashes are broken up and put into a container for placing in an urn. Your funeral director can provide a range of urns, or you can choose one of your own.

A relative of the deceased or an executor must complete an application for cremation. A certificate of cremation is also required - this is issued by a doctor for a fee and is in addition to the death certificate. Both the cremation application and cremation certificate must be filed with the crematorium before the body may be cremated.

Cremation means that the ashes can be buried, placed in a memorial, separated among family members, or scattered. When scattering ashes you must make sure that the area you have chosen is not close to traditional Maori food-gathering grounds. You may also need to ask for permission to scatter ashes in a park or sports ground.

Burial at sea

The New Zealand coastline has areas that are specifically designated for burials at sea, and burials must take place only within these "marine burial locations". A boat or helicopter is normally used for this purpose and a special type of casket is required. Your funeral director can advise you on this.

Donation

Arrangements for donating a body to science must be made before the person dies. New Zealand medical schools don't require constant donations of bodies, and there are a range of criteria that must be met (such as weight restrictions). Funeral costs are obviously much lower here, as no coffin, plot, cremation, or interment is needed.

An alternative to donating your body is to donate individual organs. Your funeral director can tell you more about these options.

Funeral costs

According to the Funeral Directors Association of New Zealand, the average cost of a funeral is $8800. 

Around 50 percent of what you pay is the funeral director’s fee and another 20 percent is the price of the coffin. Local government charges (for plot and cremation fees) account for most of the rest.

Coffin costs
Coffin costs range from about $750 for untreated pine or plywood, up to as much as $5000.

Embalming costs
Some funeral directors charge an all-in-one fee for their services; others have a lower fee and charge separately for costs such as embalming. Research estimates the average cost of embalming at between $565 and $675.

Council fees
Our 2006 survey of funeral prices found charges varied widely from council to council, with fees ranging from $1120 to $2900 for burial. The Auckland region was the most expensive.

Watch the "extras"

Videotaping, audiotaping and slideshows can enhance the funeral experience, but prices can vary widely for some of these services. We accept that there is some variation in the quality - for example, whether or not a professional operator is used - but prices can range from free up to a whopping $750 to video a service or create a slide show.

Financial hardship

Work and Income provides a Funeral Grant of $1820.08 (at 1 April 2009). The grant is available to the partner, child, parent, or guardian of the deceased to help towards funeral costs. It's both asset and income tested.

On death and dying

For some people, talking about death makes them feel uncomfortable and awkward - after all, it's a subject of which we have limited personal experience. Especially when we're younger, we live in a world where we can avoid facing up to death. We can feel sympathy for friends and their families when they experience death, but we largely see ourselves and our families as somehow separate - it won't happen to us.

Funeral practices in New Zealand have largely reflected the needs and beliefs of our predominantly Christian society, but as we become an increasingly multi-cultural nation other beliefs are contributing to the changing face of funerals.

Many cultures and religions see death as an inevitable stage of life, a passing from one state to another. Writer Verpal Singh says that, for Sikhs, death is a chance for a righteous life-force to once again unite with God and so it's regarded without fear.

Buddhists see death as a transition to a new mode of existence - the karmic forces that have accumulated over the course of your life determine your next rebirth. Death therefore provides an opportunity for the living to help the deceased person move on to their new life.

Death at home

Until relatively recently, it was common in New Zealand for death to occur at home. Care of the sick and dying family member was largely the responsibility of the family, and so too was the care of the deceased. The body would have been washed, dressed and laid out by family members, usually women. For some ethnic groups, taking care of a loved one at home remains extremely important.

In her book "Last Words", Margot Schwass says that over 65 percent of all deaths in New Zealand now occur in hospitals, rest homes, retirement villages, or hospices.

This has been accompanied by a growth in the number of medical experts who work with death - such as hospital staff, caregivers, grief counsellors, ambulance staff, funeral directors, and coroners. Death has come to be seen as more of a failure of medical technology than a naturally occurring event.

The practice of home viewing - taking the body home before the funeral service - has revived in recent years. This reflects a relatively recent change in attitudes: as late as the 1960s it was thought that viewing the deceased could damage the mental health of survivors - particularly young children or older relatives.

Our advice

  • Make sure that you know exactly what's included in the quoted price. Some funeral directors advertise low-cost funerals, but then charge separately for extras. Others charge a higher professional fee, but include more services.
  • Be firm. Make sure that you and the deceased person are getting what you want, and don't get sold into unwanted expensive extras.
  • Plan ahead. Provide clear and adequate instructions for your funeral arrangements. That way there's no doubt about what you want.
  • If you're interested in a natural burial, see our Green funerals report for more information.

More information