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19 June 2014

Dreams do come true

Mr Ko Tseng has written to me explaining my long-lamented cousin Albert Chetwin has disappeared leaving US$87.5 million

You know how dreams sometimes do come true. One of mine has. Well it will any day. Mr Ko Tseng is going to make it so. He has written to me explaining my long-lamented (to be honest never-heard-of cousin) Albert Chetwin has disappeared leaving US$87.5 million.

Albert has no next of kin, which is surprising given I know heaps of Chetwins who could be much closer kin than me. Let’s not quibble though – I’m happy to share.

Mr Ko Tseng is a consultant with Mirae Global Investments in Hong Kong. Albert came to him 10 years ago with just US$50m to invest. As Albert’s portfolio manager Mr Ko Tseng, says in his letter, he worked on strategies in line with the volume of the funds “at my disposal strategically investing in equity and equity related securities including venture capital. We spun the money around various diversified medium term programs and then attracting a margin in profit of 7.5% annually most in share market”. I’m sure that makes sense to someone.

The correspondence gets more opaque when it deals with Albert’s disappearance. Suffice to say he hasn’t been seen for two years. “Albert Chetwin was intestate in his belief in line with his philosophy in enouncing valuables.” Once the tears clear, I’ll work out what this means.

Mr Ko Tseng has gotten over his grief. His practical solution to dealing with Albert’s millions is for me to split the inheritance – 60 percent to him and 40 percent to me. We can “fine-tune this based on good interaction and knowledgeable input”.

The knowledgeable input part is sadly where the dream ends. I know Mr Ko Tseng is a liar. And so should you if you receive a communication like this.

We’re in the middle of Connect Smart Week (many of these entreaties come by emails) and earlier this month was Fraud Awareness Week. Don’t let the possibility of getting something for nothing blind you to the truth. This is about gaining information to clear out your bank accounts or at least get some money from you fraudulently. Lose sight of this and you will get something for nothing – a major headache.

About the author:

Sue Chetwin has been our Chief Executive since April 2007 after more than 25 years in print journalism. She was formerly the Editor of Sunday News, Sunday Star Times and the Herald on Sunday. She says there are strong parallels between consumer advocacy and journalism.

Sue oversees all of Consumer’s operations and is also the public face of the organisation. Sue is a director of the Banking Ombudsman Scheme, an alternate on the Electricity and Gas Complaints Commission and a member of the Electricity Authority Retail Advisory group.

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